Mar 31 2009
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Diversify your love life.
For Katie Lee
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Miguel Prado (Jimmy Smits) on Dexter is a dream. I will miss him next season.
For Katie
Please watch this YouTube compilation of my future husband
Mar 27 2009
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I will never cease to be amazed at the hideous clothes that Urban Outfitters chooses to advertise.
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Why does this exist?
Best Week Ever compiled 50 animals who hate baths, which coincidentally includes a few dozen reasons why cats are a devil animal.
I can haz darkness
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Thank God the idiots at the Jimmy Fallon Show inadvertently publicized this hilarious Onion video.
Mar 26 2009
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“ Particularly if one is insane with jealousy at [Scarlett] Johansson’s frankly elegant new look.
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I, frankly, find this post on Scarlett Johansson’s weight loss/diminished breasts offensive.
They found a picture of her looking disheveled, with her cleavage held high, and juxtapose it against this vampire-chic, tittyless picture, and we’re supposed to sigh over her new-found elegance?
Oh, cleavage is just so low class. If Scarlett’s boobs were at her regular size in this Death Be Not Proud photo, she would look so tacky.
Mar 17 2009
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“ Charla Nash, 55, lost her hands, nose, lips and eyelids in the 12-minute mauling. Many bones in her face were crushed, and the attack may also have left her blind and brain-damaged.
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I think she should get ever penny of the $50 million. I can’t think of anything more horrible than sustaining those injuries in a chimpanzee attack.
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A round of applause for Andy!
Check out the other “10 Things He’s Thinking When He’s Having Sex” at Glamour.com
Mar 16 2009
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Dear UK, What the hell are you thinking?!
 Let’s hope I never mistake windshield- wiper fluid for my vodka drinks. |
This story from the Guardian is pretty much the equivalent of finding out that your daycare center mistook blue windshield-wiper fluid for Kool-Aid. (True story.) I feel so betrayed, so angry!
English Prime Minister Gordon Brown has thankfully taken the sensible road and rejected a horrifying proposal about setting a price minimum on alcohol, but Scotland’s authorization of this fuckery will come into effect later this year! God willing, the Highlander will get on this and make Scotland rue the day they disrespected one of their country’s strongest traditions. How will men parade around in kilts, as the frosty air bites at their naked genitals, without this sweet elixir doing its job as cheaply as possible?
Need we remind these government fat cats about the global recession? Now is not the time to look out for the people’s medical welfare. Now is the time to let them drown their sorrows at pound-a-pint night at the local pub. According to the Guardian, the bill would “double the cost of a £10 pack of lager, nearly double the cost of a bottle of vodka to £20 and set the minimum price for a bottle of wine at £4.50.”
I need a drink after reading this. Here’s to this plan sinking like the Titanic before it makes its way across the Atlantic.
Mar 14 2009
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
 I hope Matthew Wilder still looks like this today. |
This is hour four in my attempt to tape In Bruges on DVD. I saw the movie last year, loved every second, and have been meaning to record it ever since. Having little to do this morning and seeing that it was available On Demand, I began recording at 11. About three-quarters through, I decided to be more productive and reboot the wireless router since my Macbook hadn’t recognized the signal all week. This of course shut off the movie and ruined the recording. So I deleted that file and began again with the same DVD. But since the disc was not a rewritable, there was only an hour of free space on the fucker. I of course didn’t realize it had stopped taping until there was like 15 minutes of the film left.
I have a new disc, and I’m trying again. It’s like my white whale. Still, I’ve been marginally productive today, having fixed my wireless and downloaded the best song of the 1980s (which means a contender for best song of all time), “Break My Stride,” by Matthew Wilder. I’ve been meaning to obtain that song since pre-K. It’s actually pretty relevant to today’s frustration.
