sideshow barb

Oh, look, it’s my life story.

Sun, 10 May 2009 03:14:29 -0400

Oh, look, it’s my life story.

They shoulda had a tractor trailer out back with extra chicken...

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:12:00 -0400

They shoulda had a tractor trailer out back with extra chicken on ice! You know?

In case you were wondering, I’ve translated the smirks on the faces of the reporters. The translation reads: We didn’t try to interview a single white person for this story!

Happy 83rd, Cloris!

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 09:41:50 -0400

Happy 83rd, Cloris!

As many of you already know, Bea Arthur passed away yesterday at...

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 15:16:00 -0400

As many of you already know, Bea Arthur passed away yesterday at the age of 86. When Arthur’s Golden Girls co-star Estelle Getty died last year, fans of the show were devastated, but I think Getty’s long battle with dementia made the news easier to digest. I’m very broken up about losing Bea. It feels like my για για has died all over again. At least the occasional GG marathon will keep her memory alive.

My Tumblr is not a Livejournal, and yet...

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:20:40 -0400

You Act Like You Are 20 Years Old You are a twenty-something at heart. You feel like an...

I need to understand how this restaurant manages to achieve an...

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:36:00 -0400

I need to understand how this restaurant manages to achieve an “upscale atmosphere” in a “casual setting.”

froufy: Andrea Wachner is my hero. Really. She went to an...

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:11:00 -0400

froufy:

Andrea Wachner is my hero. Really. She went to an uber-rich public high school (like me!) where the parking lot was lined with luxury cars and the kids were awful. Her high school experience seems to have been exactly identical to mine. So when she got an invitation to her 10-year reunion, she wasn’t about to attend. Instead of going, however, she sent a stripper in her place. This has prompted a new tag: best idea ever.

(via Neatorama)

I’ve been thinking about two things a lot lately: strippers and high school reunions. Did you know strippers in Vegas take in about $300k a year? Did you see the highlights from the 2009 pole-dancing competion? I did. I also ran across this amazing story about a aspiring comedienne who sent a stripper to her high school reunion to pose as her. What a beautiful thing. Truly.

"[Michelle Rodriguez] broke up the bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was ‘fat and..."

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 10:22:00 -0400

“[Michelle Rodriguez] broke up the bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was ‘fat...

My brother, 27, moved out years ago. Today, we sort through his...

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 10:35:12 -0400

My brother, 27, moved out years ago. Today, we sort through his old childhood toys.

Devon Sawa wants to keep you. For Katie

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:38:00 -0400

Devon Sawa wants to keep you.

For Katie

Being a lesbian probably isn’t as glamorous as you...

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 12:54:51 -0400

Being a lesbian probably isn’t as glamorous as you think.

For Katie Lee

Pekingese Painter. No explanation needed. For Natasha

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:41:45 -0400

Pekingese Painter. No explanation needed.

For Natasha

Diversify your love life. For Katie Lee

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:41:46 -0400

Diversify your love life.

For Katie Lee

Miguel Prado (Jimmy Smits) on Dexter is a dream. I will miss him...

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:41:49 -0400

Miguel Prado (Jimmy Smits) on Dexter is a dream. I will miss him next season.

For Katie

Please watch this YouTube compilation of my future husband

This is what poker parties in DC look like. For Natasha

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:38:00 -0400

This is what poker parties in DC look like.

For Natasha

I will never cease to be amazed at the hideous clothes that...

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:41:54 -0400

I will never cease to be amazed at the hideous clothes that Urban Outfitters chooses to advertise.

Why does this exist? Best Week Ever compiled 50 animals who hate...

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 09:16:03 -0400

Why does this exist?

Best Week Ever compiled 50 animals who hate baths, which coincidentally includes a few dozen reasons why cats are a devil animal.

I can haz darkness

Thank God the idiots at the Jimmy Fallon Show inadvertently...

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:47:24 -0400

Thank God the idiots at the Jimmy Fallon Show inadvertently publicized this hilarious Onion video.

"Particularly if one is insane with jealousy at [Scarlett] Johansson’s frankly elegant new..."

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 10:27:00 -0400

“Particularly if one is insane with jealousy at [Scarlett] Johansson’s frankly elegant...

"Charla Nash, 55, lost her hands, nose, lips and eyelids in the 12-minute mauling. Many bones in her..."

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:10:01 -0400

“Charla Nash, 55, lost her hands, nose, lips and eyelids in the 12-minute mauling. Many bones...